Jury Duty Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

45 Results for Jury Duty

View 11 - 20 results for jury duty comic strips. Discover the best "Jury Duty" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm thinking about buying a more fuel efficient car." "Why?" "It's my patriotic duty to reduce this country's dependency on foreign sources of oil." "Why?" "Because then the countries that hate us will have less money to fund terrorists." "Actually, developing countries would buy the oil you saved, thus adequately funding those same terrorists." "At least I wouldn't be funding them myself." "Oil is a fungible commodity. The capitalist system virtually guarantees that you'll end up buying the lowest cost oil from sources unknown to you." "Well, maybe, but I want my car to make a statement." "And the statement would be 'Hey, everyone, I don't understand what fungible means!'"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadly product, #sued, #did nothing, #public realtions, #goal, #jury pool, #victims deserved it, #moral implications, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casino for morons, #concept, #court room, #Dogbert, #gaming commission, #ratbert, #room full dolts, #jury, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defendant guilty, #sentence tod eath, #deliberated, #heard evidence, #lenos monlogues, #not eveidence

View Transcript

Transcript

The foreman of the jury says, "We find the defendant guilty and we sentence him to death." A woman in the jury says, "Umm.. we haven't deliberated. We haven't even heard any evidence yet." The foreman replies, "Okay, so, what I'm hearing is that Leno's monologue is NOT evidence?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #client, #to dumb, #embezzle, #dogbert the lawyer, #calling jury dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a jury, "I will prove that my client is too dumb to embezzle." Dogbert continues, "Or, failing in that, I'll prove that you're too dumb to know he did it." The judge starts, "Mister Dogbert..." Dogbert interrupts, "Don't get me started about you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crime, #finding guilty, #jury finding, #proram, #witness protection

View Transcript

Transcript

The jury verdict DILBERT: WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.... ...OF THIS CRIME AND MAYBE A FEW OTHERS THAT DIDNT COME UP, LASTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY BROCHURES FRO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleint, #lawyer, #juror, #sleeping juror, #snoring, #fell asleep, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: My clients life now rests in your capable hands. ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZ JURY DELIBERATIONS JUROR: Did anything happen after "Please rise"?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excused, #god judge you, #honor, #judge, #jury selction, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Jury Selection Man In turban: Your honor, It is against my religion to judge others only god may judge Judge: You're excised. Juror: OOH OHH! I just changed my religion! Man In turban: Jerk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hole in head, #jurors, #jury box, #jury selction, #medical condition, #questioning, #serving, #judge, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

JURY SELECTION JUDGE: JUROR eight, do you have any medical problems that would prevent you from serving? NO, I need jury duty. Judge: Would iy be fair to say you odnt know what you need? MAN HOLE IN HEAD: Why does everyone ask me that>