Jury Duty Comic Strips - Page 2
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45 Results for Jury Duty
View 11 - 20 results for jury duty comic strips. Discover the best "Jury Duty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 19,
2006
Transcript
"I'm thinking about buying a more fuel efficient car." "Why?" "It's my patriotic duty to reduce this country's dependency on foreign sources of oil." "Why?" "Because then the countries that hate us will have less money to fund terrorists." "Actually, developing countries would buy the oil you saved, thus adequately funding those same terrorists." "At least I wouldn't be funding them myself." "Oil is a fungible commodity. The capitalist system virtually guarantees that you'll end up buying the lowest cost oil from sources unknown to you." "Well, maybe, but I want my car to make a statement." "And the statement would be 'Hey, everyone, I don't understand what fungible means!'"
Friday January 30,
2004
Tags deadly product, sued, did nothing, public realtions, goal, jury pool, victims deserved it, moral implications, strategy
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"
Wednesday June 04,
2003
Tags casino for morons, concept, court room, Dogbert, gaming commission, ratbert, room full dolts, jury, legal
Transcript
Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."
Friday April 18,
2003
Tags at party, camera advice, engineer, physical, wally dressed as engineer, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."
Thursday October 31,
2002
Tags defendant guilty, sentence tod eath, deliberated, heard evidence, lenos monlogues, not eveidence
Transcript
The foreman of the jury says, "We find the defendant guilty and we sentence him to death." A woman in the jury says, "Umm.. we haven't deliberated. We haven't even heard any evidence yet." The foreman replies, "Okay, so, what I'm hearing is that Leno's monologue is NOT evidence?"
Wednesday October 30,
2002
Tags client, to dumb, embezzle, dogbert the lawyer, calling jury dumb
Transcript
Dilbert says to a jury, "I will prove that my client is too dumb to embezzle." Dogbert continues, "Or, failing in that, I'll prove that you're too dumb to know he did it." The judge starts, "Mister Dogbert..." Dogbert interrupts, "Don't get me started about you."
Saturday December 09,
2000
Tags crime, finding guilty, jury finding, proram, witness protection
Transcript
The jury verdict DILBERT: WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.... ...OF THIS CRIME AND MAYBE A FEW OTHERS THAT DIDNT COME UP, LASTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY BROCHURES FRO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?
Friday December 08,
2000
Tags cleint, lawyer, juror, sleeping juror, snoring, fell asleep, legal
Transcript
Lawyer: My clients life now rests in your capable hands. ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZ JURY DELIBERATIONS JUROR: Did anything happen after "Please rise"?
Thursday December 07,
2000
Tags excused, god judge you, honor, judge, jury selction, legal
Transcript
Jury Selection Man In turban: Your honor, It is against my religion to judge others only god may judge Judge: You're excised. Juror: OOH OHH! I just changed my religion! Man In turban: Jerk
Wednesday December 06,
2000
Tags hole in head, jurors, jury box, jury selction, medical condition, questioning, serving, judge, legal
Transcript
JURY SELECTION JUDGE: JUROR eight, do you have any medical problems that would prevent you from serving? NO, I need jury duty. Judge: Would iy be fair to say you odnt know what you need? MAN HOLE IN HEAD: Why does everyone ask me that>