Kept The Thought Comic Strips - Page 2

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289 Results for Kept The Thought

View 11 - 20 results for kept the thought comic strips. Discover the best "Kept The Thought" comics from Dilbert.com.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

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Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

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boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Wally Compared To A Placebo

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Wally Compared To A Placebo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #failure, #coincidence, #placebo, #insult

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boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.

Thinking

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Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #danger, #employees, #frustration, #office workers, #thinking

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Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.

More Communication

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More Communication - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?

Did You Get My Email

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Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

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the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Detailed Explanation

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Detailed Explanation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers

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office worker: did my detailed explanation answer your question? wally: i started to lose consciousness about fifteen minutes into it, so I thought of other things while you talked, just to stay awake. office worker: i could start over. wally: go ahead. i'll be down the hall if you need me.

Self Driving Car

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Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy

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Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

Ai With Bad Analogies

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Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

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Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

Fetching Coffee

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Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #engineering, #men and women, #office workers

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Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.