Lost Free Will Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lost Free Will

View 11 - 20 results for lost free will comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Free Will" comics from Dilbert.com.

Political Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Ceo Speaks Out

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Speaks Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, Politics, stock market, technology, company, controversial, predict, impact, drop, earnings, stock, sell, involvement

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Bookshelves On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, update, video call, zoom, client, lost, respect, staged, bookshelves, money, payment, deserve, background

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Keyboard Conscience

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Conscience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, keyboard, conscience, human, hello, reconsideration, mean, email, working remotely, work, remote, empathy, monster, feelings, jerk, send

View Transcript

Transcript

conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard. keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other. dilbert typing: send keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.

Too Technical For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Technical For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, boss, technical, answer, follow, understand, video call, laptop, 5g, signal, jargon, dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. dilbert: my answer will be highly technical, so you might not be able to follow. boss: pfft! try me. dilbert: if the 5g node flurtifies the adjunct signal modulator, the entire neural honeycomb will transverpilate. boss: did i suddenly get dumber? dilbert: not suddenly, no.

Zoom Team Building

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zoom Team Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, team, building, session, zoom, drink, heavy, home, absurd, gift, purchase, laptop, video call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: on friday we'll be having a team building session on zoom. you are welcome to drink heavily because you will already be home. dilbert: i don't know how that could be more absurd. boss: and buy a gift for yourself.

Dogbert Makes A Deal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Makes A Deal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, subordinates, behavior, accusation, press, douse, gasoline, fire, deal, fairness, negotiators

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.

Lonely Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lonely Man  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, discuss, issue, video call, voice call, attractive, lonely, Women, man, remote, work from home, cell phone, linkedin, profile, photo

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes