Marriage Comic Strips - Page 2

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35 Results for Marriage

View 11 - 20 results for marriage comic strips. Discover the best "Marriage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tina Wants A Work Husband

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Tina Wants A Work Husband - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marriage, Women, nagging, wife, wives, criticism, yelling, relationships

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Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Marriage Is A Financial Contract

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Marriage Is A Financial Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contract, contracts, dating, marriage, money, romance, serious realtionship, marraige, financial contract, vendor, spouce, relationships

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Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, loneliness, marriage, wifi, no wife, social, intellectual; needs, human contact, relationships

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Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships

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Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, marriage, fist of work, feel the wrath, totally legal, eye canons, single, higher setting, politically incorrect, relationships

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Alice: I have been informed that it is politically incorrect to use my fist of death at work. So fell the wrath of my totally legal eye cannons! Noise: Budddabudda!! Asok: Gaa!! Alice: Oops. I didn't know you were single. Married guys can take a higher setting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honeymoon, lying, business, marriage, comparing, relationships

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Dilbert says, "Our customer is asking for features we can't possibly deliver." The Boss says, "Say we can. We'll disappoint them later when it's too late to back out." Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like when you compare things to their honeymoons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags proposition, marriage, ridiculous, confused, reading, explanation, relationships

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Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arranged amrriage, low standards, sister, love, has sister, Family, relationships

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"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"