Minute To Cool Comic Strips - Page 2
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185 Results for Minute To Cool
View 11 - 20 results for minute to cool comic strips. Discover the best "Minute To Cool" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 24,
2019
Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday October 06,
2018
Spending The Company's Money
Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense
Transcript
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Saturday July 28,
2018
Haircut On Company Times
Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.
Saturday June 30,
2018
No Path To Victory
Tuesday April 17,
2018
Deducing Rank
Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.
Friday March 02,
2018
Boss The Bottleneck
Tags #nickname, #name-calling
Transcript
Boss: I wish I had a cool nickname at work. Dilbert: You do. You're known as the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Boss: Who calls me that? Dilbert; Bad people. I try to stop them.
Friday December 29,
2017
Insurance For Phones
Tags #cell phone, #technology, #insurance, #break, #screen, #cracked
Transcript
Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.
Wednesday December 27,
2017
Winning Design Awards
Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology
Transcript
Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!
Wednesday October 25,
2017
Arguing On Twitter With Facts
Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!
Sunday July 09,
2017
Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?