Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 2
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514 Results for Named Ted
View 11 - 20 results for named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 15,
2021
Project Is Not Feasible
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.
Wednesday April 14,
2021
Office Nickname
Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission
Transcript
dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.
Saturday February 27,
2021
Feedback To Boss
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #feedback, #performance, #boss, #trap, #constructive, #criticism, #perfect, #almost, #anger, #honest
Transcript
boss: ted, i want your honest feedback on how i'm doing as your boss. ted: this feels like a trap. boss: not at all! i love constructive criticism! ted: i think you're almost perfect. boss yelling: almost?
Sunday February 21,
2021
Alice Compliments Ted
Tags #business, #comparison, #project, #job, #great, #dread, #foreboding, #generous, #trap, #lull, #sabotage, #career, #monster
Transcript
alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.
Friday February 12,
2021
Gaming The System
Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project
Transcript
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
Wednesday February 03,
2021
Cake For Ted
Tags #business, #office workers, #cake, #conference, #birthday, #invite, #sarcasm
Transcript
wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?
Thursday January 28,
2021
Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person
Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #business, #disabled, #token, #gay, #homosexual, #celebrate, #employment
Transcript
boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.
Wednesday December 16,
2020
Ted And His Laptop
Tags #managers & supervisors, #employment, #fired, #laptop, #technology
Transcript
boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...
Tuesday December 15,
2020
Ted Reimagined More
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #unnecessary, #job, #budget, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...
Monday December 14,
2020
Reimagine Ted's Job
Tags #boring, #business, #job, #new, #pay, #projects, #reimagine, #technology, #compensation
Transcript
boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?