Near Death Experience Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

391 Results for Near Death Experience

View 11 - 20 results for near death experience comic strips. Discover the best "Near Death Experience" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

Death In The Family

Thank you for voting.
Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

Ted Dies From Chair

Thank you for voting.
Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Wally Mentors To Death

Thank you for voting.
Wally Mentors To Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #asok, #Wally, #successful, #definition, #minimum, #alive, #employed, #comas, #ruling

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?

Death By Ninjas Is Best

Thank you for voting.
Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Reincarnation Advice

Thank you for voting.
Reincarnation Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #motivation, #reincarnation, #death, #fussiness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.

Dogbert Sells Life Advice

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Sells Life Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #motivation, #meaning, #existentialism

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How do I find meaning in my life? Dogbert: Nothing has meaning. The best you can do is postpone your own lonely and painful death. Asok: Are you saying I should take care of my health? Dogbert: What answer gets me the best review on Yelp?!

Already Tried That Plan

Thank you for voting.
Already Tried That Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Bad User Interface

Thank you for voting.
Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #user experience, #interface, #usability, #menu, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."