New Dress Barrles Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Dress Barrles

View 11 - 20 results for new dress barrles comic strips. Discover the best "New Dress Barrles" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Creates A God

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Ted Talks Make You Smarter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Make You Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #moron, #new hire, #smart, #ted talk, #binge-watch

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Recreational Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Alice And Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

Wally Not Working

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology, #work ethic, #micro-managing

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.

Price Gouging

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Price Gouging - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #network, #idiot, #price, #gouging, #upgrade

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #conversation, #excellent, #hardware, #network, #price, #record, #reliability, #warranty

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.

Old Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #business, #strategy, #products, #sell, #fair, #price, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Ship Without Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ship Without Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.