New Office Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for New Office

View 11 - 20 results for new office comic strips. Discover the best "New Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

Insults By Email

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Insults By Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #office workers, #insult, #email, #comfortable, #belittle, #Opinion, #move away, #sarcasm

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dilbert: i feel a deep need to belittle your opinion, but it would be awkward doing it in person. would you mind moving away from me so i can email you my insult? dilbert in hall by himself. dilbert: a little more....

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Potted Plant

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Potted Plant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #job, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #employees, #feelings, #potted plant, #new, #boss

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ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Tina Is Late For Revenge

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Tina Is Late For Revenge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #late, #meeting, #punctual, #three, #minutes, #plotting, #revenge, #sarcasm, #october

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dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird

Low Self Esteem

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Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #relationships, #low, #self-esteem, #hate, #performance, #problem, #hear, #sarcasm

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employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?

Non Disclosure Denied

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Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Never Admit You Are Wrong

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Never Admit You Are Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office relationships, #wrong, #admit, #pride, #cumulative, #clouds, #speachless, #example

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tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...

Political Talk

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Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainwashed, #business, #harmony, #messaging, #opinions, #partisan politics, #platforms, #political issues, #underinformed

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catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.

Anythey

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Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #policy, #pronouns, #anythey, #question, #offensive

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boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.