New Product Cooler Than Anything Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Product Cooler Than Anything

View 11 - 20 results for new product cooler than anything comic strips. Discover the best "New Product Cooler Than Anything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Garbled Audio

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbled Audio - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #video conference, #audio, #garbled, #gerbil, #laptop, #miscommunication, #zoom, #solve, #problems, #endangered, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert in front of laptop on video conference: our audio is garbled. i can't hear what you are saying. dilbert yelling: no, i didn't say anything about a gerbil. i said our audio is garbled. dogbert and dilbert at home. dogbert: how'd your zoom call go? dilbert: i solved zero problems and may have endangered a gerbil.

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

Destroy The Competition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #destroy, #competition, #approve, #violence, #figure of speech, #engineers, #literal, #competitors, #beat, #sticks, #sarcasm, #incite, #figurative, #speech

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

Virus From Where

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Lazy People Are Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Every Expert Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #technology, #work, #old, #new, #future, #expert, #entrepreneurs, #worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

The Moron Option

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #corporate rule, #vendor, #accounts receivable, #30 days, #pay, #payment, #exception, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.

Increasing Training Budget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Increasing Training Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #budget, #training, #research & development, #company, #bankrupt

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year. tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets. dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development. wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development. alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing. asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt. carol to boss: the company is bankrupt. boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Reimagine Ted's Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #business, #job, #new, #pay, #projects, #reimagine, #technology, #compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?