New Projects Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for New Projects

View 11 - 20 results for new projects comic strips. Discover the best "New Projects" comics from Dilbert.com.

Potted Plant

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Potted Plant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #job, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #employees, #feelings, #potted plant, #new, #boss

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ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Non Disclosure Denied

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Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Anythey

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Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #policy, #pronouns, #anythey, #question, #offensive

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boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.

Boss Isn't Fair

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Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

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dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Must Register To Date

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Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #love & dating, #managers & supervisors, #company policy, #human resources, #new, #dating, #register, #link, #details, #laptop

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boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.

Wally Not Remotely Working

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Wally Not Remotely Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #success, #technology, #projects, #remote work, #work, #remote, #bed, #office, #laptop, #home

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boss and wally on video call. boss: wally, have you been successful on your projects while working at home? wally: not remotely. boss: and by that you mean you went into the office and did not work remotely? wally in bed: okay, sure.

Title Promotion

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Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer

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boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

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Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

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dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Because Of The Pandemic

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Because Of The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #technology, #projects, #behind, #schedule, #virus, #laptop, #coffee

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boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.