Object Oriented Comic Strips - Page 2
21 Results for Object Oriented
View 11 - 20 results for object oriented comic strips. Discover the best "Object Oriented" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan." Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management." Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision." Wally continues, "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had." Wally continues, "With luck, the project will be a gigantic failure in a month." Wally continues, "People will forget my failure and remember that I'm experienced. Promotions will follow. Yes!!" Wally concludes, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne." Dilbert says, "Good plan." The Boss asks, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?" Wally replies, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."
Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "I don't understand why some people wash their bath towels." Wally continues, "When I get out of the shower I'm the cleanest object in my house. In theory, those towels should be getting cleaner every time they touch me." Alice says, "Maybe I could hug you every day so I don't need to take showers." Wally asks, "Are towels supposed to bend?"
The caption says, "Saint Dogbert enters the Land of Cubicles searching for the demons of stupidity." Dogbert walks down the hall wearing a bishop's miter and holding a scepter. The caption says, "Suddenly he finds an over-promoted computer guru spouting useless database concepts." A man sits at a conference table with two glassy-eyed co-workers. The man says, "You'd be fools to ignore the boolean anti-binary least-square approach." The caption says, "The monster is dispatched to the dark world by the sight of its most feared object." Dogbert stands on the conference table holding a document in front of the man. Dogbert says, "Look! Actual code!" The man's head melts into his shirt and a co-worker says, "Cool!"
The Boss sits at a computer and Wally and Dilbert stand behind him. The Boss raises his hands over the keyboard and says, "Okay, just show me how to program so I can help out on your project." Dilbert says, "You're going to build a 'G.U.I.' using object-oriented development tools . . ." Wally adds, "G.U.I. is pronounced 'gooey.'" The Boss says, "I used my gun object to blast the bug object in the hall object!!" Wally says, "Notice how gooey it is."
Ratbert: "Why is that thing called a mouse and not a rat?" Ratbert: "At the risk of being labelled, quote, politically correct, unquote, I must object." "I demand to have something named in my honor! Dilbert: "What about the 'scuzzy' interface? Hee hee."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "I was thinking about how much I enjoy our conversations." Dogbert continues, "They're consistently witty and intellectually stimulating." Dogbert continues, "Then I realized that all of the witty and intellectually stimulating stuff comes from me." Dogbert continues, "Naturally I started wondering what was the point of even having you along." Dogbert continues, "Then I thought about lightning and how it always hits the tallest object." Dogbert continues, "So there IS a slight statistical advantage to having you nearby." A bolt of lightning strikes Dilbert and knocks him off his feet. Dilbert lies on the ground and says, "You aren't going to be witty now, are you?" Dogbert replies, "How can you say that? I'm shocked!"
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a hole in midair. Dilbert yells into the hole, "What's it look like, Ratbert?" Ratbert floats through space and says, "It's beautiful . . . I see the secrets of time revealed . . . An object approaches . . ." Ratbert says, "It's Dick Clark's hair."
Dogbert: Santa! Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth. Dogbert: Is that a problem? Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods... Dogbert: Can I have an elf? Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?
Dilbert stands outside his lab. He tells Dogbert, "Well, Dogbert, I believe I have solved the world's garbage problem." Dogbert says, "I didn't know garbage had any problems." Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the stairs to the lab. Dilbert says, "I've invented the most efficient trash compactor ever." Dilbert kneels in front of a device and says, "This baby can squash two tons of garbage into a little brick!" Dogbert says, "No doubt you've considered the valuable uses for the brick itself." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Right . . . For home construction?" Dogbert says, "Or just as an immovable object that smells like Sylvester Stallone's socks."