Offered Parking Space Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

181 Results for Offered Parking Space

View 11 - 20 results for offered parking space comic strips. Discover the best "Offered Parking Space" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

Oxygen Not In The Budget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Oxygen Not In The Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Naming The Spaceship

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Travelling Broadens Worldview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Travelling Broadens Worldview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.

Wally's World Expands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's World Expands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #window, #view, #seeing, #perspective, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My world view has expanded since I moved to a cubicle near a window. I didn't realize how much stuff was outside our building. Boss: Such as the rest of the universe? Wally: I can only see the alley in front of the parking garage.

Boss Gets A Nickname

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets A Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scientist, #nickname, #obliviousness, #stephen hawking, #black holes, #space, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.

What The Boss Said

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #accusation, #privacy, #following, #bathroom, #restroom, #personal space

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?

Meetings Are Dense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.