Old Apple Computer Comic Strips - Page 2
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847 Results for Old Apple Computer
View 11 - 20 results for old apple computer comic strips. Discover the best "Old Apple Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 23,
2019
Ship Without Manual
Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy
Transcript
dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.
Sunday December 01,
2019
Dilbert Murders Robots
Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase
Transcript
dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
Wednesday September 25,
2019
Curse Of Competence
Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending
Transcript
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Wednesday September 18,
2019
Read The Manual
Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Saturday August 17,
2019
Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?
Sunday August 11,
2019
New Cubicles
Transcript
boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.
Saturday July 27,
2019
The Opinionated Old Guy
Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion
Transcript
the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.
Tuesday June 11,
2019
Leadership And Guessing
Tags #business, #coffee, #managers & supervisors, #office
Transcript
alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.