Olympic Event Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

37 Results for Olympic Event

View 11 - 20 results for olympic event comic strips. Discover the best "Olympic Event" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #natural disasters, #disaster preparedness, #famine, #keyboard, #crumbs, #alene invasion, #kill a coworker, #lizard people, #impending collison, #asteroid, #running in place, #earth rotates, #planet, #hit by asteroid, #human flesh, #presentation is a disater

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been asked to explain our disaster preparedness plan. In the event of a famine, turn your keyboard upside down and shake. If it's anything like mine, you'll find a pound and a half of crumbs. In the event of an alien invasion, your best bet is to kill a co-worker to show your allegiance to the lizard-people. In the event of an impending collision with an asteroid, try running in place while the Earth rotates. If you time it right, you'll be on the other side of the planet when the asteroid hits. To prepare for every other type of disaster, I recommend cultivating a taste for human flesh. Boss: Your presentation is a disaster. Wally: And next time you'll be prepared for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #envy, #exhibitions, #technology trade show, #so huge, #illusion, #great cup holder

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "What happened to you?" Dilbert says, "I went to a technology trade show." Dilbert says, "The event was so huge that it made me feel small. But it's just an illusion." Wally says, "For an illusion, you make a great cup holder." Dilbert says, "Dude. Not cool."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #fear, #policies, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "The employees are scared shirtless about losing their jobs." Catbert says, "This is a good time to cut their benefits and roll out some Draconian corporate policies." Dilbert says, "'In the event of a bomb threat, the employees are expected to shield the servers with their bodies.'" Wally says, "I miss my shirt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behind schedule, #defective equipment, #improbable event, #reliable vendor, #sales guy, #golfing, #bought hat, #impossible boss, #on the hook

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new years eve, #celebrate calendar event, #hair brush as loofah

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: What kind of party are we having for New Year's Eve? Dilbert: "Why would I celebrate an arbitrary calendar event?" Ratbert: "Suddenly I don't feel so bad about using your hairbrush as a loofah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best marketing expert, #resume, #nobel prize, #five olympic medals, #marketing biathlon

View Transcript

Transcript

"We need to hire the best marketing expert we can find." "Your resume says you've won the Nobel Prize in marketing, and five Olympic gold medals in the marketing biathlon." "What's a marketing biathlon?" "You ski up to people who won't buy your crap and you shoot them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitive strategies seminar, #house keeping, #energency, #stay seated, #no mens room

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to the competitive strategies seminar." "First, some housekeeping. In the event of an emergency, stay seated so I'll have a clear path to the exit." "And... there is no men's room in the building as far as you know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greek, #greek word, #parthenon, #word for sports event, #zeus, #new product

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Wally has been researching Greek words to name our new product." Wally says, "All I have is Zeus. And Parthenon. And the word 'Greek' itself." Wally continues, "I understand they have a word for sports even too. I'm trying to track that down."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #medical mel, #needle, #four feet long, #pencil, #javelin champion, #bob short, #shiskabob

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Medical Mel. Dilbert hears Mel on the phone saying, "...the needle was four feet long and thick as a pencil." Mel's voice continues, "I tried to run but the doctor had been an Olympic javelin champion." Mel's voice continues, "My new nickname at the hospital is Bob - short for Shishkabob." Dilbert covers his ears.