Once We Write Comic Strips - Page 2
333 Results for Once We Write
View 11 - 20 results for once we write comic strips. Discover the best "Once We Write" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 01, 2019's comic on:
dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it
Share October 11, 2019's comic on:
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Share September 26, 2019's comic on:
Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.
Share June 27, 2019's comic on:
doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.
Share June 11, 2019's comic on:
alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.
Share March 20, 2019's comic on:
CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?
Share March 15, 2019's comic on:
Dilbert: The unethical scientist we hired to support our product claims started today. Boss: Write a press release that says whatever we want him to say and put his name on it. Dilbert: Should we show it to him? Boss: That feels like overkill.
Share February 02, 2019's comic on:
Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.
Share December 16, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Did you finish the specs I asked you for last week? Ted: You didn't follow up with me on that, so I assumed you didn't need them. Dilbert: I didn't need to follow up. I asked for the specs by today, and you said you would have them done. Ted: Yes, but then you didn't ask me again. Dilbert: There was no reason to ask you again. Ted: Obviously there was a reason because asking me once didn't work. Dilbert: Can you finish it by next week? Ted: Yes. Dilbert: Good. Ted: As long as you follow up.
Share December 13, 2018's comic on:
Boss: I'm asking everyone to write their own performance reviews. Alice: "She shone like the light of a thousand suns." Boss: Slop some jargon on that and put a bow on it. Alice: Got it.