One Year Project Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for One Year Project

View 11 - 20 results for one year project comic strips. Discover the best "One Year Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Isn't Fair

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Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

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dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Project On Hold

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Project On Hold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #hold, #opposite, #Opinion, #change, #football, #analogy, #goalpost, #fact, #laptop, #video call

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.

Shaking Hands

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Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee

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boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Workplace Injuries

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Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #meeting, #video call, #workplace, #injury, #reduce, #work from home, #security, #guard, #hurt, #back, #steal, #office equipment

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boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Boss Loves Dilbert

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Boss Loves Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #video call, #love, #wife, #camera, #relationship

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dilbert at home in recliner on video call with boss. voice from laptop: i love you. dilbert: you do? boss: no, not you. i was talking to my wife, who is off camera. no one loves you. dilbert: this was my longest relationship.

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychiatry, #technology, #online, #therapy, #video therapy, #social, #isolation, #awkward, #bored, #people, #hate, #pretend, #hand washing, #carrier, #deadly, #pathogen, #normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

Project Is Not Feasible

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Project Is Not Feasible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition

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boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.

Pandemic In Year Two

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Pandemic In Year Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #tired, #face, #familiar, #exhausting, #sorry, #pandemic, #coffee

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dogbert: i am so tired of looking at your face. i mean seriously, it's exhausting. pandemic year 2 dilbert: sorry. dogbert: well, you should be.

Taking Time Off

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Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #vacation, #paid time off, #critical, #essential, #system, #migration, #kidding, #success, #zoom, #call, #valuable, #asset, #engagement

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boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.

Only One Thing Ceo Can Do

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Only One Thing Ceo Can Do - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #business, #press, #subordinates, #inapproriate, #behavior, #quit, #murder, #correct

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ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?