Out Of Engineer Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for out of engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Out Of Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bigoted Against Elbonian Men

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Bigoted Against Elbonian Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marriage, office workers, elbonia, report, bigot, irrelevant, innocence, prove, sale, flower

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catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.

Bookshelves On Zoom

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Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, update, video call, zoom, client, lost, respect, staged, bookshelves, money, payment, deserve, background

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boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Title Promotion

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Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, recognition, outstanding, work, pandemic, title, Promotion, stupid, raise, ungrateful, engineer

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boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Shelves Are Ugly

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Shelves Are Ugly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, background, attractive, shelf, lawn mower, gym, human, decency, rude, laptop

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Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.

I Can't Hear You

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I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, engineer, sales, dumb, hear, inaudible, meeting, long

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Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Because Of The Pandemic

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Because Of The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, projects, behind, schedule, virus, laptop, coffee

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boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.

Think About Long Term

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Think About Long Term - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, long term, dynamics, reasonable, random, decision, job, employment

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office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.

Not The Smartest

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Not The Smartest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineers, smart, iterate, technology, leadership, incompetence, excellence, sarcasm

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boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.

Who Are They

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Who Are They - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, impossible, laptop, coffee, correct, learn

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wally: they said it couldn't be done. boss: but you did it? wally: no, it turns out they're usually right. boss: who are "they," and why am i just learning this? wally: you sound like me last week.

You Make Luck

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You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster

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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!