Phone Lines Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
476 Results for Phone Lines
View 11 - 20 results for phone lines comic strips. Discover the best "Phone Lines" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 23,
2021
Lonely Man
Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #discuss, #issue, #video call, #voice call, #attractive, #lonely, #Women, #man, #remote, #work from home, #cell phone, #linkedin, #profile, #photo
Transcript
dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes
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Friday March 12,
2021
Deep Fake Zoom
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop
Transcript
dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!
Wednesday March 10,
2021
Pandemic For 75 Years
Tags #cell phone, #covid-19, #health & safety, #pandemic, #science, #scientist, #numb, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.
Saturday January 23,
2021
Robot Calls
Tags #business, #technology, #robot, #intelligence, #human, #indistinguishable, #Number, #recognize, #rule, #earth
Transcript
voice coming from phone: as soon as robot intelligence is indistinguishable from home, the robots will rule the earth! dilbert: i don't recognize this number. who are you? please don't say a robot. voice: let's just say only one of us will rot.
Sunday January 10,
2021
Recurring Charges
Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone
Transcript
dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.
Thursday January 07,
2021
Incoming Message
Tags #distraction, #technology, #business, #text, #message, #phone, #respond
Transcript
dilbert: ...so what we need to do... phone on table: ding dilbert: okay, now you're only pretending to listen to me because your mind is on that incoming text message. would you like to look at it and respond? alice: only if you don't think you can wrap this up in fifteen seconds or so.
Wednesday December 30,
2020
Important Context
Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #question, #answer, #context, #rude, #interrupt
Transcript
alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.
Tuesday December 29,
2020
Microwaving Fish
Tags #managers & supervisors, #microwave, #fish, #working from home, #smell, #rotting, #corpse, #cubicle
Transcript
boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
Wednesday December 09,
2020
Dogbert 5 G Testing
Tags #business, #technology, #5g, #testing, #low-cost, #phone, #prototype, #eggs, #fry, #silly, #qualified, #experts, #safety, #email, #bill
Transcript
tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.