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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #critics, #employees, #laziness, #big picture guy, #lesser minds, #managing, #implementing, #not getting it, #business

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Wally: I've decided to become more of a big picture guy. Lesser minds can do the managing and implementing while I criticize them for not :getting it". Dilbert: So...you want to get paid to be a jerk? Wally: said the implementer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #pants, #hole, #favorite, #plan b, #idea, #stand on bed, #surprise, #arms out, #pants witness tracking app, #cell phone, #picture, #walk to work, #lots of holes, #take photo, #technology

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Dogbert says, "Your pants have a tiny hole." Dilbert says, "These are my favorite pants!" Dilbert says, "I'll have to go with plan B." Dogbert says, "Wear other pants?" Dilbert says, "That's crazy talk." Dilbert says, "I'll wear these and act as if the hole just happened." Dilbert says, "Everyone knows you can't go home and change in the middle of the day." Dilbert says, "I'll use a pants witness tracking application on my phone to keep track of who has seen the hole." Dilbert thinks, "If I play my cards right, I can get two or three more wearings out of my favorite pants." Wally says, "All of this just happened." Dilbert says, "Same here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bailout, #greed, #money, #economy, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm happy to announce that the government gave us a bailout loan of $25 billion." Dogbert says, "I'm even happier to announce that I kept the entire amount for my bonus." Dogbert says, "Who wants to see a picture of my island fortress?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #employee wellness programs, #save money, #hellness program, #big picture

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Dogbert says, "Employee wellness programs save money in the long run, but that does you no good." Dogbert says, "You need a program that can save you money now, when it makes a difference." Dilbert says, "A hellness program? I don't like the sound of that." The Boss says, "Try to see the big picture for once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #predictable, #sneezed, #fighting predictability, #predicts sneeze

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The Boss: Dilbert says I'm predictable. Am I predictable? Catbert: Gesundheit in advance. The Boss: Must...Control sneeze. Must...Not be...predictable." "Mroomph!" Catbert: Yesterday I drew a picture of what this would look like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #breaks down, #cries, #date, #endless stories, #huge defects, #restaurant, #series of stoires, #soul crushed

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Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2007's comic on:


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"Thanks to my outside income, I didn't feel any pressure to work this week." "So I spent my time drawing pictures of you in funny positions." "I might be losing my firm grip on things." "Not according to this picture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2007's comic on:


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"Wally, did you finish the detailed analysis?" "No, I'm more of a big picture kind of guy." "Why didn't you tell me that a week ago when I asked?" "I don't like to disappoint people." "What the @#$% do you think I am now?!" "Hey, I think I'm starting to like disappointing people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2006's comic on:


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"This is a picture of my cubicle. As you can see, it's slightly bigger than yours." "That means I'm slightly more important than you." "And yet you've worked here much longer." "I GET IT!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2006's comic on:


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You said I'd never find an online date because I'm unemployed. But you were wrong! "Have you seen her picture?" "Yes! She looks hot." "Do you have 'Photoshop' software?" "Maybe."