Planning Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

106 Results for Planning

View 11 - 20 results for planning comic strips. Discover the best "Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trust, confidence, vampire, dead, trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

The Science Of Astrology

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Astrology, metaphysics, science, planning, sign, zodiac, pseudoscience

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Retirement Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retirement, future, planning, plan, death, aging, work, savings, dying, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

Low Battery On Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Battery On Brain Stimulator  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, invention, planning, party, picnic, details, cups

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.

The Illusion Of Leadership

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, Advice, forget, forgetfulness, jargon, leadership, managers, managers & supervisors, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, hallucinations, strategic planners, future, pretend, different happens, visualize, game, work, planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, work ethic, facebook, work, home, unpaid work, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, vacations, work ethic, unlimited vacation policy, 200 days off, double productivity, no way to measure

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, prices, executive coaching, meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Executive Coach Dogbert: The ROI for executive coaching is 9,000%. CEO: Wow! That's a lot! But I need a coach who won't ask em to do anything differently. Dogbert: I wasn't planning to show up for our meetings. CEO: Perfect. How much do I owe you for today?