Profits Good Comic Strips - Page 2
1000 Results for Profits Good
View 11 - 20 results for profits good comic strips. Discover the best "Profits Good" comics from Dilbert.com.
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ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.
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alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.
Share April 24, 2019's comic on:
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?
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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
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tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.
Share March 31, 2019's comic on:
Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.
Share March 16, 2019's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.