Proposal Study Comic Strips - Page 2

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64 Results for Proposal Study

View 11 - 20 results for proposal study comic strips. Discover the best "Proposal Study" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #time estimate, #propsal, #win bid, #wet sponge, #insulted me, #business

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Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #above average, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #top 110%, #study of managers, #percentages, #business

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Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

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Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #interviews, #managers, #dumb decions, #particpate

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Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #heart attack, #bad boss, #swedish study, #fall over, #feet up, #dead, #surprise, #business

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Wally says, "A Swedish study in 2009 showed that people with bad bosses had 40% more heart attacks." Coworker says, "Aaak!!!" Wally says, "I should want you that I'll probably tell this story a few times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time, #animals, #business

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The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #selling, #failure, #winning: models, #product, #options

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Asok says, "Our product comes with 27 moedels with over 9,000 options." Dilbert says, "Given my limited time to study the options, you have guaranteed that I will make a sub-optimal choice." Dilbert says, "Thanks for making me a failure." Asok says, Well it's not really "selling" if we both win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #reject proposal, #reason, #level of management, #authority, #get fired, #starve to death, #repharse, #question

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The Boss says, "I reject your proposal." Dilbert says, "Is there any particular reason this time?" The Boss says, "At my level of management I don't have the authority to approve anything important." The Boss says, "But I do have the authority to reject things." The Boss says, "If I don't reject proposals, there's nothing for me to do." The Boss says, "If I do nothing I'll get fired. I might never get another job. I could starve to death." The Boss says, "So I have to reject everything you propose or else I might die." Dilbert says, "What am I supposed to do now?" The Boss says, "Can you rephrase that question in the form of a proposal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #wall of approval, #heckler, #conceptual bricks, #tough audience, #aggressive, #dislike

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Each department that signs off on the proposal adds a brick to the wall of approval." approval process " Alice: Question: What would happen if I flung one of those conceptual bricks at your conceptual, stupid head? They warned me you were a tough audience. Alice: Fling! Fling!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

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The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."