Rebel Negotiation Comic Strips - Page 2

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33 Results for Rebel Negotiation

View 11 - 20 results for rebel negotiation comic strips. Discover the best "Rebel Negotiation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator

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Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist

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Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Bad Negotiator

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Bad Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temperature, #disagreement, #negotiation, #compromise, #thermostat

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Alice: It's freezing in here. Dilbert: I'm hot. Put on a sweater. Alice: Why am I the one who has to change? You should wear a sweater made of ice packs. Dilbert: It's time to admit I'm a bad negotiator.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology

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Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

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Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

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Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rebellions, #riots, #violence, #rebel army, #social justice, #iron fisted dictator, #billionaire, #stain, #tank tread, #looting, #excited animals

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Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

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Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack

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Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new office rebel, #nice bathrobe, #easily manipulated, #dare you, #use barnding, #the fire

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The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"