Rifle Through Purse Comic Strips - Page 2
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313 Results for Rifle Through Purse
View 11 - 20 results for rifle through purse comic strips. Discover the best "Rifle Through Purse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 11,
2019
The Best Way To Succeed
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #success, #delegate
Transcript
boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard
Saturday July 27,
2019
The Opinionated Old Guy
Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion
Transcript
the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.
Monday October 29,
2018
Training By Osmosis
Tags #the boss, #formal, #training, #job, #absorb, #osmosis, #idiot, #rest, #staff
Transcript
The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!
Thursday October 04,
2018
Bias For Action
Sunday July 22,
2018
Tags #twitter, #social media, #tweet, #communication, #troll, #technology
Transcript
Carol: I finally signed up for Twitter. Sending my first tweet. Uh-oh. What the??? It seems I have opened some sort of portal to Hell. Demons are streaming through the portal!!! I have never seen such horrible thoughts! Gaaaa!!! Dilbert: How was your first day on Twitter? Carol: I'm already addicted to it.
Thursday June 07,
2018
Smartphone Syndrome
Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology
Transcript
Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.
Tuesday May 01,
2018
Tracking Employee Theft
Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy
Transcript
Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.
Sunday April 29,
2018
Tags #valor, #awards, #bragging, #laziness
Transcript
Boss: The employee award for valor goes to Wally. During the false alarm, we noticed Wally was not with the other evacuees. He stayed behind to make sure everyone else got out. At least that's what he told us later. Wally, do you have any words of inspiration for the group? Wally: Most of you are cowards. But imagine how good you would feel winning a non-monetary award for valor. Now I ask all of you to think about how you can repay me for my selfless valor on your behalf. Dilbert: Did you sleep through the fire alarm? Wally: Most productive nap I've ever had.
Sunday March 11,
2018
Tags #interview, #hiring, #honesty, #immoral, #ulterior motives
Transcript
Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.
Wednesday January 17,
2018
Asok Upgrades His Soul
Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology
Transcript
Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.