Role Model Comic Strips - Page 2

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93 Results for Role Model

View 11 - 20 results for role model comic strips. Discover the best "Role Model" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags character, behavior, role model, mentor, secret, psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Click Rate On Death Alerts

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Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction

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Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero

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CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, trees, computer model, genetically modify, tree growth, rare earth minerals, run a trail, money dents grow on trees, fault

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Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, project, unstable applcation, data model, overly complex relational databse, lazy, business

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Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags models, out of stiock, credibility, bait and switch, tactics, sales, technology, computer, tablets, business

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Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, inventions, 3d network, motion sensors, sneezed, merged network, 15th of cisco

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In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags shared leadership, model, piece of role, blame

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Boss: I'm moving to a shared leadership model. Each of you will take on one piece of the leadership role. Dilbert: What's my piece? Boss: Let's see. I have you down for something called... blame.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consolidating, marketing, illusion, golf, ceo, money, shared services, Sports, business

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Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, ignorance (knowledge), internet & world wide web, digital media curation, trendy jargon, ignorance on dsiply, not worthy, curation means

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Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?