Said In Meeting Comic Strips - Page 2
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1000 Results for Said In Meeting
View 11 - 20 results for said in meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Said In Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 01,
2021
Anythey
Sunday May 23,
2021
Million Dollar Bonuses
Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.
Friday May 21,
2021
C Level Sacrifice
Tags #business, #political issues, #stock market, #technology, #brand, #board, #fire, #Politics, #ruin, #human, #sacrifice, #chief technology officer, #performance, #employment
Transcript
catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.
Sunday May 09,
2021
Boss Isn't Fair
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head
Transcript
dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?
Friday April 30,
2021
Project On Hold
Tags #business, #technology, #project, #hold, #opposite, #Opinion, #change, #football, #analogy, #goalpost, #fact, #laptop, #video call
Transcript
dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.
Wednesday April 28,
2021
Instead Of Handshakes
Tags #business, #technology, #handshake, #substitute, #read, #vote, #suggestions, #obscene
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes
Monday April 26,
2021
Workplace Injuries
Tags #business, #technology, #meeting, #video call, #workplace, #injury, #reduce, #work from home, #security, #guard, #hurt, #back, #steal, #office equipment
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.
Friday April 23,
2021
Zoom Could Have Been Worse
Tags #business, #embarrassment, #technology, #video call, #zoom, #time, #waste, #meeting, #imbeciles, #mic
Transcript
dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.
Thursday April 15,
2021
Project Is Not Feasible
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.
Sunday April 11,
2021
No Need To Zoom
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #technology, #video call, #voice call, #email, #texting, #zoom, #meeting, #update, #team, #laptop, #cell phone, #link, #progress
Transcript
boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?