Scientific Sense Comic Strips - Page 2
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184 Results for Scientific Sense
View 11 - 20 results for scientific sense comic strips. Discover the best "Scientific Sense" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 05,
2018
Narcissist
Saturday October 06,
2018
Spending The Company's Money
Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense
Transcript
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Tuesday April 17,
2018
Deducing Rank
Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.
Friday April 13,
2018
Exactly What Guilty People Say
Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Saturday January 13,
2018
Offensive Tweet From Long Ago
Tags #comprehensive, #offensive, #poor reading, #sense of humor, #seven years, #offensive tweet, #twitter
Transcript
The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/
Friday November 10,
2017
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him
Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.
Wednesday August 02,
2017
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters
Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless
Transcript
Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.
Monday July 31,
2017
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations
Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception
Transcript
News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.