Security Offcie Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

166 Results for Security Offcie

View 11 - 20 results for security offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Security Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hazmat suit, harrass, wear suit, harrasment, offcie, prevention, dressed up, human resources, inappropriate delivery, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Homeland Security Risk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Homeland Security Risk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags homeland security, awareness, consciousness, terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.

Human Sensation Slipping Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, humanity, technology, existentialism, existential crisis, awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, hacking, malware, virus, infection, cyber security, obliviousness, password

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?

Tina The Whistleblower

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina The Whistleblower - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company policy, human resources, whistleblower, security, confidential, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.

Airport Scanners

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags video, security camera, tsa, air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Airport Security

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Airport Security - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, viral video

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My business trip didn't go well. I took off my belt for airport security and my pants fell off. Someone took a video and everyone is sharing it. Wally: This is literally the first time I wish I had friends.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drones, national security, invention, technology, birds, death, environmental issues, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, drone, national security, design, birds, flying, collateral damage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Elbonians Steal Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Steal Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags encryption, technology, national security, privacy, terrorism, terrorist

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?