Self Deception Comic Strips - Page 2

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314 Results for Self Deception

View 11 - 20 results for self-deception comic strips. Discover the best "Self Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.

Clones Embezzle

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Clones Embezzle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, lunch, sandwich, company, dissolve, self-discovery, consilting, staffing, clones, embezzle, journey

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dogbert in lunchroom with dilbert: i had to dissolve my consulting company because i made the mistake of staffing it with my clones. every one of them embezzled from me. that sort of ended my journey of self-discovery.

To Do List

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To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, list, self management, success, tasks, to do list, Win

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dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.

Self Actualization

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Self Actualization - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized

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dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.

Low Self Esteem

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Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, business, self esteem

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tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.

Self Reliant

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Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant

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boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Dogbert's Self Defense School

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Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, enemies, murder, office workers, training, manipulation, defense

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Self Driving Car

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Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, technology, creepy

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Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, sarcasm, technology, threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Self Driving Car Quits

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Self Driving Car Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, technology

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Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.

Wally's Track Record As Mentor

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Wally's Track Record As Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags abuse, Wally, Dilbert, coffee, self-inflicted, injuries, interns

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Wally: I checked up on all of the interns I've mentored over the years. Most of them died from self-inflicted inures. Dilbert: And the rest? Wally: The rest were killed by other people.