Search Results for "selfish"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the ceo, #salary, #400x more, #admit your selfish, #money

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

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Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #borrow pen, #need pen, #order pen, #order pens, #parasitic arrangement, #supplies, #stingy, #selfish, #dysfunctional offcie, #office supplies, #fill out form

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Dilbert: "Can I order some pens?" Carol: "No, it's impossible." "You need a pen to fill out the pen request form. And if you have a pen, you're not allowed to order one." Dilbert: "Maybe I could borrow your pen." Carol: "That sounds like some sort of parasitic arrangement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dogberts, #selfish cell phone, #no number, #can bother people, #stop bothering me

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"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #unclear objectives, #complaint, #be clear, #call a tie, #selfish

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Catbert: The number one complaint from employees is 'unclear objectives.' The Boss: My number one complaint is that it takes too much effort for me to be clear. Catbert: Lets call it a tie. The bossL what are they so selfish?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert show, #immoral moron, #lazy, #miracle worker, #passing judgement, #selfish, #time waster

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Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fire toxic co worker, #lazy and ineffectual, #selfish, #toxic guy, #Wally

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Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #project, #falling death spiral, #selfish weasels, #mood altering, #doctor is better

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Dilbert points to a slide, "My project is in a flaming death spiral, thanks to you lazy, selfish weasels." Dilbert continues, "But I'm feeling terrific because I'm taking mood-altering prescription drugs!" Dilbert continues, "I can see by your expressions that my doctor is much better than yours!" He points fingers from both hands and exclaims, "Hoo-wah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #great vacation, #beautiful sunsets, #amazing food, #descriptions, #serve no purpose, #selfish attempt, #trigger memories

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Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogbert tech support., #personal computer, #defective, #attractive package

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Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "It works fine on my machine." On the other end of the line, the customer says, "Yes, but this call is about MY PC. May we talk about MY problem now?" Dogbert replies, "Okay, your PC is defective and you're selfish. That's an attractive package you've got going there."