Server Comic Strips - Page 2

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50 Results for Server

View 11 - 20 results for server comic strips. Discover the best "Server" comics from Dilbert.com.

Unplugged Server

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Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

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Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Everyone Says Dilbert Lied

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Everyone Says Dilbert Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #accusation, #conclusions

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Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.

Dilbert Might Have Lied

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Dilbert Might Have Lied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumors, #sources, #journalism, #accusation

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Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.

Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack

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Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumors, #accusation, #lying, #obstinacy

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Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.

The Virus Afterlife

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The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical

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Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #siri, #server outage, #deploying air bag, #tailbone, #vestigal, #bluetooth

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Dilbert: Siri, how can I avoid blame for our server outage? Siri: Deploying coccyx air bag. Wally: So your tailbone isn't vestigial? Dilbert: Nope. And apparently it has bluetooth.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #computers & peripherals, #unix servers, #new servers, #new names

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Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business

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The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #surgery, #software server, #too confusing, #normal human, #comprehension, #cost eefective, #involve atorneys, #deal so small, #medical

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Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting pirates, #taking over agendas, #scurvy rats, #server, #virtualization

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Dilbert says, "We've had reports of 'meeting pirates,' taking over agendas and pillaging credit." Pirate says, "Yaaarg!!! I take yer document, and leave ye scurvy rats adrift!" Pirate says, "And then I invented server virtualization. Yaaarg!" The Boss says, "Wow! That was a good idea."