Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 2
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499 Results for Shake Hands
View 11 - 20 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Friday May 01,
2020
Alice Borrows Stapler
Tags business, office supplies, face mask, borrow, stapler, paper clip, coronavirus, germs
Transcript
Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.
Monday April 20,
2020
No Handshaking
Saturday January 18,
2020
Poison Pill
Tags co-worker, cross-train, business, relationship, training, bad, fire, poison pill, planner
Transcript
dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.
Sunday May 12,
2019
Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system
Transcript
ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.
Tuesday May 07,
2019
Dogbert Narrates
Tags business, office, office workers, narrator
Transcript
dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.
Friday April 19,
2019
Complaints About Wally
Tags business, complaint, office, office workers, productivity
Transcript
the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Tuesday October 16,
2018
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless
Wednesday March 21,
2018
Hot And Cold In The Office
Tags temperature, thermostat, disagreement, hot, cold
Transcript
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so cold my hands turned into blocks of ice. Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because the office is so hot I can't concentrate. Boss: Are the two of you the same species? Dilbert: That's a gray area because it would be impossible for us to mate.

