Shard Printer Comic Strips - Page 2

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43 Results for Shard Printer

View 11 - 20 results for shard printer comic strips. Discover the best "Shard Printer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bossbert

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Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

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Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

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Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

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Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #color printer, #frobid, #frustration, #information services, #office equipment, #office workers, #removed, #rough drafts, #crazy co worker

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I forbid you from using the shared color printer for rough drafts! Dilbert: That sounds reasonable, which makes me wonder what you're up to. Two Months Later Why did you remove the color printer? Mordac: It was hardly ever used.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3d printer, #answer questions, #modeling (sculpture), #pointy haired boss

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Carol: Your pointy-haired boss wants to know if you tested the new 3-D printer yet. Why aren't you answering my question? Whatever. Wally: Success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #printmaking, #printer prowler, #spots activity, #minions

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Boss: The printer prowler spots activity. It's time to see what the minions are working on. They're on to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken, #printer, #gossip, #passwords, #fear, #pain, #monitor

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The Printer says, "Hummm" Dilbert says, "After you punched that monitor, the broken printer started working." Alice says, "They were on the same network. Word gets around." Theprinter says, "Please don't hurt me." Alice says, "And you don't need passwords for a while."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #80thousand, #forboding, #funny story, #paper, #print long document, #printer paper

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The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management retreat, #golfing, #swimming, #drinking, #getting massages, #count printer papaer, #meaningless work assigned, #dead body, #Sports

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The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I asked Disgruntled Doug to work on our pricing model. "The fate of the entire company rests in his tiny hands." "That reminds me: I gave your cubicle to an intern." "But don't worry. I have another workspace for you." "You can use this little cardboard box that the laser printer came in." "It's only temporary." "Until we can find you a larger cardboard box." "I have an urge to underestimate costs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Did you hire Ellen just because she's hot?" "Carol, hotness is an important skill. It's like a super power." "From now on, how much are you charging us for printer cartridges?" "Fuh fuh free!" ping