Shouldn't Comic Strips - Page 2

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93 Results for Shouldn't

View 11 - 20 results for shouldn't comic strips. Discover the best "Shouldn't" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #good attitude award, #stupid award, #screamed, #nominated, #award, #peer voting, #next month, #employees, #boss, #business

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Boss: Alice, you've been nominated by your peers for the "good attitude award." Alice: Get out of here with your stupid, useless award!!! Boss: Maybe I shouldn't let peers do the voting. Wally: I like her odds to win again next month.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #allegiance, #patents, #corporate secuirty, #shadowy figure, #secrets, #offering, #alternatives, #repeat business

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Boss: If a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets, what should you do? Dilbert: How much is he offering? Boss: That shouldn't matter. Dilbert: How can I compare alternatives? Wally: Would there be any repeat business in this scenario? Corporate Security

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #dress for the job, #dress for the job you want, #fault, #guilt, #more specific, #naked, #clothes, #work

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Boss: When I said you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have... I shouldn't have needed to be more specific than that. Wally: You have a way of making everything sound like it's my fault.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management

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Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships

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Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions

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Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #more green, #ac units, #elastic bands, #hats covered eyes, #don't shoot messenger, #elbonian, #engineering

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Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #administrative agencies, #control, #data, #delay, #frustration, #manipulate, #meetings, #time, #two weeks

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Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

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Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

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Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.