Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 2
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1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 11 - 20 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 14,
2019
Mad Or Flirting
Tags flirting, relationships, feelings, awkward, psychology, anger, office workers
Transcript
dilbert: why are you mad at me? Carol: i'm not dilbert: oh. i'm not good at reading people's feelings carol: true dilbert: are you flirting with me now? carol getting up: i'm going to sit over here
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
Wednesday September 25,
2019
Curse Of Competence
Tags computer software, employees, office workers, problem, sarcasm, condescending
Transcript
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Wednesday September 18,
2019
Read The Manual
Tags computer software, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.
Monday August 12,
2019
Leadership Conference In Maui
Tags boss, irritation, managers & supervisors, vacations
Transcript
Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!
Sunday June 09,
2019
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, message, office, squirrels
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?
Thursday May 23,
2019
Your Quote Is High
Tags business, computer software, office, sales, sales personnel, quote
Transcript
dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.
Tuesday April 16,
2019
Old Time Chair
Tags business, chair, office, office workers, ergonomics
Transcript
office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.
Friday April 12,
2019
How Long Will It Take
Tags computer software, office, office workers
Transcript
the boss: how long will it take to fix the bug? dilbert: that depends. how long will you stand behind me and interrupt me? the boss: how should i know? i can't see the future?
Sunday March 03,
2019
Tags computer software, computers, intelligence, technology, trick, humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

