Sitting For Boss Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Sitting For Boss

View 11 - 20 results for sitting for boss comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting For Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Trades Cryptocurrency

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Firing By Text

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Firing By Text - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #text, #smartphone, #fire, #remote, #workforce, #thumbs-up, #sarcasm

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boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text. boss typing on smartphone. Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap. catbert: it's done? boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.

Loser Detector

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Loser Detector - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invention, #losers, #accurate, #detection, #pings, #backwards, #sarcasm

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in meeting room. dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers. boss: how do i know if it's accurate? dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings. boss pointing it at employees: boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser! ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate! dogbert: you're holding it backward. boss: how exactly does it detect losers? dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.

Too Busy To Train

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Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #two, #replacement, #quit, #death, #stare, #new, #person, #sarcasm

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dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Potted Plant

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Potted Plant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #job, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #employees, #feelings, #potted plant, #new, #boss

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ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.

Wally The Rebel

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Wally The Rebel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #problem, #authority, #lazy, #rebel, #like it, #business cards, #sarcasm

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boss: wally, you have a problem with authority. wally: wow! i thought i was lazy. but maybe i'm actually a rebel. yes, i like it. can i add it to my business cards? boss yelling: no!

Elbonian Hackers Attack

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Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #elbonian, #hackers, #attack, #stole, #database, #ranking, #employee, #haircuts, #sarcasm

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dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.

Another Zoom Meeting

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Another Zoom Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #meetings, #zoom, #scheduled, #emptiness, #soul, #overeating, #Advice

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dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.