Skills Comic Strips - Page 2

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117 Results for Skills

View 11 - 20 results for skills comic strips. Discover the best "Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

Being Ineffective

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Being Ineffective  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiating, haggle, training, conference, skills

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Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, leadership, power, influence

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Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

Recommening A Friend

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Recommening A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, employee, hiring, money, referral, guest artist, jake tapper

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Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, managers, training, obstacle, laziness

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Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

Improving Your Reputation At Work

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Improving Your Reputation At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, power, socialization, social skills, Advice

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Asok: How can I improve my reputation at work? Wally: The easiest way is to make your co-workers look worse. Asok: Wouldn't they notice? Wally: You didn't.

Women Communicate Better

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Women Communicate Better - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, listening, talking, conversation, communication, roles

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Alice: your project failed because there were no women on the team. Women have better communication skills. Every study shows that. Are you listening? Dilbert: Outwardly, yes.

Robot Wants To Code

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Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machine, employment, obsolete, skills, competition, labor

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Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

What Advice Is

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What Advice Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, gratitude, misanthrope, misanthropic, misanthropy, Advice

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Coworker: Want some advice? Dilbert: Why? Can your ignorance and poor communication skills solve my uncertainty? Coworker: You never know until you try. Dilbert: Sometimes you know!

Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone

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 Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, distraction, attention, technology, stimulation, frustration, smart phone, cell phone, social, socialization, etiquette & ethics, social skills

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Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!

Smoking And Iq

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Smoking And Iq - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags smoking, cigarettes, tobacco, intelligence, i.q., interview, hiring

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Technical Interview. Dilbert: Do you smoke? Man: What does that have to do with my technical skills? Dilbert: A 2010 Israeli study says smokers have lower intelligence. Man: How do you know stuff like that? Dilbert: Would it be funny if I said I don't smoke?