Solve Problems Comic Strips - Page 2
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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter
Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.
Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.
the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.
Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.
The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.
Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...
Alice: I'm back from vacation. Did you have any problems covering for me? Wally: No problem at all I saved all of your work for when you got back. Alice: I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns! Wally: How was your vacation? Was it relaxing?