Standing Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

146 Results for Standing

View 11 - 20 results for standing comic strips. Discover the best "Standing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Gets Standing Desk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fads, desk, standing, health, fitness, office furniture, trends

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadlines, deadline, management, time management, projects, distraction, multitasking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office buildings, economic consulting, benefits of standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired The Dogbert Ergonomic Consulting Company to tell us about the health benefits of standing. Dogbert: Standing be good. Boss: That's it? Dogbert: The topic isn't as complicated as you might think.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, resume, piece of work, lie, exaggeration, mispelling, bad format, failed prodcuts, salsa dancer, applicants resume, handsome fellow, busted

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Take a look at this resume. Alice: Ha ha! This guy is a piece of work! Lie... lie... exaggeration... misspelling... bad format... worked on failed products. Ooh! He's also a champion salsa dancer. What a tool! Wait. Why aren't you joining in the traditional mocking of the applicant's resume? Dilbert: I'm waiting to find out if he's the handsome fellow standing behind you. Alice: Scoot over. You're blocking my view of a handsome guy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secretaries (office), increase work productivity, yammering, salted earth, great plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, make conversation, sociopathic loner, co workers, coffee break, meet up, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you feel any need to make conversation? Dilbert: Nope. But I don't mind standing in your general vicinity to counter the common perception of you as a sociopathic loner. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: That's what acquaintances are for.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags high priorities, standing, coffee, vendor comparison, face front, work ethic, lazy, suspicious, annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, did you finish the vendor comparison?" Wally says, "I'm proud to say I did not." Wally says, "You told me to focus on my highest priorities, and that wasn't one of them." The Boss says, "So? when can I expect it?" Wally says, "Logically, that would be never." Wally says, "If that task ever became the most important thing I was doing, you'd eliminate my position." The Boss says, "True. But at least you're getting the high priority stuff done, right?" Wally says, "So far, it's taking all of my energy to avoid doing the low priorities."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags load calcs, remind, monday, determined, forget, remember, fist, hiding day, good luck, hallway, standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, I need your load calcs by Tuesday." Wally says, "Remind me on Monday." Coworker says, "You're hoping I won't remember to remind you. Then you'll say it's my fault." Coworker says, "But I will remember, and I will remind you." Wally says, "Good luck. Monday is my hiding day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, acid, vat, toxic fumes, standing on chair, scared, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES Catbert says, ?Ted, I'm transferring you to a job with a higher risk of industrial accidents.? Catbert says, ?Your job will involve reaching over a vat of acid while wearing no safety harness.? Ted says, ?Why do we have a vat of acid?? Catbert says, ?Because toxic fumes take forever.?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags standing, project, coffee, matter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, ?Another division needs your help for a six-month project.? Dilbert says, ?Who will do my work here?? The Boss says, ?You'll keep doing this job too, but only the things that matter.? Dilbert says, ?How long have I been doing things that don't matter?? The Boss says, ?Oops.?