Started Own Compnay Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

487 Results for Started Own Compnay

View 11 - 20 results for started own compnay comic strips. Discover the best "Started Own Compnay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Loss Of Libido

Thank you for voting.
Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Forming Your Own Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

Thank you for voting.
Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Fly On Weekend

Thank you for voting.
Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #evil, #cheap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

Alice Writes Own Review

Thank you for voting.
Alice Writes Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm, #review

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm asking everyone to write their own performance reviews. Alice: "She shone like the light of a thousand suns." Boss: Slop some jargon on that and put a bow on it. Alice: Got it.

Write Your Own Review

Thank you for voting.
Write Your Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to write your own performance review for my signature. Dilbert: I'll sign it for you too. I see no reason for you to be involved. Boss: Put something in there about insubordination. Dilbert: Got it.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Narcissist

Thank you for voting.
Narcissist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #confused, #ego, #jokes, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You're a narcissist. Dilbert: You would need an inflated sense of your own importance to believe you can read my mind to compare my opinion of myself to your opinion of my worth. Tina: Huh? Dilbert: Sometimes my jokes are just for me.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.