Stealing Comic Strips - Page 2
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58 Results for Stealing
View 11 - 20 results for stealing comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 01,
2018
Laying Down Suppressive Fire
Tags rumor, aspersions, accusing, accusation
Transcript
Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.
Thursday November 16,
2017
Work Until You Drop
Tags health, monitor, fitbit, energy, surveillance, wearable tech, dedication, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.
Saturday August 12,
2017
Boss Cancels Food Service
Tags lunch, Food, stealing, refrigerator, property, misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.
Thursday June 08,
2017
Dilbert Is Under Budget
Tags project, budget, money, stealing, embezzlement, consequences
Transcript
Ted: You charged expenses to my project code. Dilbert: I had to because I don't have a budget. Ted: This will make it seem as if I went over budget while you didn't spend a penny. Dilbert: Good point. Wally: How's your project coming along with no budget? Dilbert: Better than I'd hoped.
Saturday March 19,
2016
Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief
Tags identity theft, impostor, insult, investment, money, stealing, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?
Monday October 05,
2015
People Keep Stealing His Ideas
Tags criticism, honesty, insult, conversation, ideas
Transcript
Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.
Saturday August 08,
2015
The World Always Needs Bankers
Tags banking, big business, college, crime, debt, future, hope, job, money, robot, robots, stealing, business, education
Transcript
Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.
Monday May 26,
2014
Tags business ethics, crimes, mobile (cell) phones, large screen smartphone, stealing, life of crime, chosen lifestyle
Transcript
Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.
Monday November 04,
2013
Tags burglars & robbers, frustration, lab, stealing back cables, worse problem, boss, adds fuel to fire
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.
Monday September 09,
2013
Tags apathy, civil liberties, surveillance, arrested dilbert, stealing data, spy software, givernement
Transcript
Wally: The government arrested Dilbert for stealing back the data their spy software stole from us. Alice: Whose side are we on? Wally: Well, I'm not crazy about the government. Alice: But Dilbert can be a pain in the Spanx, too. Wally: Have you ever tried apathy? It's awesome.

