Still Healthy Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

350 Results for Still Healthy

View 11 - 20 results for still healthy comic strips. Discover the best "Still Healthy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Dilbert Characters

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Buzzflawed Interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Feeling Loyal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #visit, #healthy, #pill, #work, #money, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Stay Home When Sick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Work Life Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interviewee, #interview, #employer, #company, #healthy, #work, #life, #balance, #victim

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Asok Lives In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

Unforseen Risks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.