Stupid Economy Comic Strips - Page 2
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320 Results for Stupid Economy
View 11 - 20 results for stupid economy comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Economy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 25,
2020
Pragmatist
Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology
Transcript
asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.
Wednesday January 01,
2020
Rfp Process
Tags business, managers & supervisors, rfp, proceed, stupid, technology, obsolete
Transcript
dilbert: we finished the r.f.p. process and selected a vendor. but it tool so long that all of their technology is obsolete. should i proceed stupidly? boss: it got us this far.
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Sunday November 10,
2019
What If You Are In A Coma
Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma
Transcript
phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.
Wednesday November 06,
2019
Imperfect Decisions
Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, vacation, decision, uninformed, perfect, good, stupid, smart, enemy
Transcript
boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?
Tuesday October 08,
2019
Test Device Analogy
Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office
Transcript
dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!
Sunday September 22,
2019
New Tv Ad
Tags argument, business ethics, marketing, men and women, office workers, relations between the sexes, accuse
Transcript
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.
Saturday September 14,
2019
Ignorant Opinions
Tags boss, criticism, insults, office workers, Opinion, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.
Wednesday July 24,
2019
Consultant Gets No Help
Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid
Transcript
the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.
Monday July 08,
2019
Boss Needs Copies
Tags boss, frustrated, irritation, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.