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Self Driving Car Quits

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Self Driving Car Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology

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Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

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Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

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Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

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Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

Ai With Bad Analogies

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Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

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Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

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Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

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Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

First Ai As Smart As Humans

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First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans

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Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

How Long To Make Ai

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How Long To Make Ai  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computers, #engineering, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #robots, #humans

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Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.

Ask Ted

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Ask Ted  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #insults, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Man: Do you have the test data? Dilbert: No. Ask Ted. Man: Ted said you have it. Dilbert: I say Ted has it. Man: One of you must dislike me. Dilbert: That's not true. It could be both of us.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #attack, #boss, #communication, #managers & supervisors, #mistake, #office workers, #technology, #laser, #nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Contacting The Alien Probe

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Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #communication, #earth, #space, #technology

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Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.