Ted Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
448 Results for Ted
View 11 - 20 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 24,
2021
Ted Is Great But Not Enough
Tags business, comparison, managers & supervisors, performance, employment, exceptional, fired, universe, sense, complain, reverse psychology
Transcript
boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.
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Thursday April 15,
2021
Project Is Not Feasible
Tags business, technology, video call, project, plan, feasible, back stab, defend, laptop, cell phone, competition
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.
Wednesday April 14,
2021
Office Nickname
Tags business, technology, cell phone, nickname, office, insulting, approval, bad, start, permission
Transcript
dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.
Saturday February 27,
2021
Feedback To Boss
Tags business, managers & supervisors, feedback, performance, boss, trap, constructive, criticism, perfect, almost, anger, honest
Transcript
boss: ted, i want your honest feedback on how i'm doing as your boss. ted: this feels like a trap. boss: not at all! i love constructive criticism! ted: i think you're almost perfect. boss yelling: almost?
Sunday February 21,
2021
Alice Compliments Ted
Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster
Transcript
alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.
Friday February 12,
2021
Gaming The System
Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project
Transcript
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
Wednesday February 03,
2021
Cake For Ted
Tags business, office workers, cake, conference, birthday, invite, sarcasm
Transcript
wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?
Thursday January 28,
2021
Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person
Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, business, disabled, token, gay, homosexual, celebrate, employment
Transcript
boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.
Wednesday December 16,
2020
Ted And His Laptop
Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology
Transcript
boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...
Tuesday December 15,
2020
Ted Reimagined More
Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...

