Tell People Ideas Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Tell People Ideas

View 11 - 20 results for tell people ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Tell People Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hat, #sarcasm, #business, #elbonia, #big, #working, #sight, #patronizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Dick Tells A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Shaking Hands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Zooming Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zooming Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #video call, #adjustments, #camera, #nose, #lighting, #lightbulb, #beard, #audio, #idea, #rude, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.

Online Therapy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychiatry, #technology, #online, #therapy, #video therapy, #social, #isolation, #awkward, #bored, #people, #hate, #pretend, #hand washing, #carrier, #deadly, #pathogen, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

No Need To Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Need To Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #technology, #video call, #voice call, #email, #texting, #zoom, #meeting, #update, #team, #laptop, #cell phone, #link, #progress

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Cameras Can See You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Taking Time Off

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #vacation, #paid time off, #critical, #essential, #system, #migration, #kidding, #success, #zoom, #call, #valuable, #asset, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.