Total Well Being Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for total well being comic strips. Discover the best "Total Well Being" comics from Dilbert.com.

Who Started The Rumor

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Who Started The Rumor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accused, #business, #covid, #fired, #job, #managers & supervisors, #motive, #office workers, #pandemic, #racism, #replacement, #rumor, #unjust, #white supremacist

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boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Tracking Dilbert

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Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working

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dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Quarantine Before Date

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Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

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dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Anecdotal Testing

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Anecdotal Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #confused, #engineering, #sarcasm, #tests

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Boss: Have you tested this to know it will work? Dilbert: I tested it anecdotally. Boss: I don't know what that word means. Wally: Well played.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

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 Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Sarcastic About Safety

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Sarcastic About Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training

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Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.

Believing Experts

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Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

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Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.