Tough Year Comic Strips - Page 2

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363 Results for Tough Year

View 11 - 20 results for tough year comic strips. Discover the best "Tough Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Robot Will Crush Employees

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Robot Will Crush Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

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Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.

Getting The Wrong Answer

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Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

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Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

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Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

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Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

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Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Brittle Phone Design

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Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology

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Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Who Alan Works For

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 Who Alan Works For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #threat, #motivation, #fear, #work ethic

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Alice: If you do what I tell you to do, I will nominate you for employee of the year. If not, I will spend the rest of my days spreading rumors about you. Terrible, terrible rumors. Dilbert: Hey, Alan. Who do you work for these days? Alan: Whoever scares me the most.