Use Integration Comic Strips - Page 2

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628 Results for Use Integration

View 11 - 20 results for use integration comic strips. Discover the best "Use Integration" comics from Dilbert.com.

Marketing Complains

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Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired

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boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

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Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

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boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Common Sense

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Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #common sense, #request, #specifications, #assumption, #sarcasm

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boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #bureaucratic, #employees, #incompetent, #inefficiency, #yin, #yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Inefficiency

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Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire

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alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

Denying Science

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Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle

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Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Morning Meetings

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Morning Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain

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dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.